Modesty in an Immodest World Part 1

By: Wendy Duckworth Vance 

At a recent Bible study, a young man asked me if the head covering I was wearing had a meaning. I provided a canned answer. However, I continued to consider his question. I am frequently asked questions about my style of dress and head covering, however, I typically get questions about what denomination or religious group I belong to, with the most common guesses being  Amish or Mennonite. But his question was not like the typical questions; it was thoughtful and seemed to sincerely seek the significance or meaning behind the covering I wore. While my answer  pointed him to a Bible passage -1 Corinthians 11 which provides  support for the practice, it missed the mark on sharing the deep significance of the practice of head covering or of modest dress in general within a woman’s walk with the Lord. It was a purely legalistic answer. That being the case, I wanted to sit down and write about the significance of modesty, which I believe includes the practice  of head covering, in an immodest world. 

Modest dress can be a complex topic. Some people, like myself believe that head covering is part of dressing modestly and others do not.   Some believe that women should wear skirts and dresses only.   Then there are other factions that believe modest dress is unnecessary, that it was cultural or a way for men to control women.  For this article we will explore what the Bible says about modesty and the next part will explore my personal  convictions on modesty.

I have spent a great deal of time reading the Bible, reading commentary articles, and researching the history and traditions of the church. In doing so I learned many truths about godly women that we have forgotten or dismissed as "cultural" in our rush to be modern women who want to be equal to men. And please understand that I am all for equal rights, opportunities, and pay for women. What I am discussing here has to do with being women of God who are known for our set-apartness in both dress and behavior. In other words, dressing in a feminine manner without showing off those parts of ourselves that are meant to only be shared with our spouse. And no, I do not believe it is our responsibility to dress modestly to help men not be lustful, although dressing this way would likely have that impact. Lust is a problem that a man (or woman) needs to deal with in their relationship with God. Nor should dressing modestly or head-covering be about following a tradition or cultural practice, or as a cause to behave in a self-righteous manner. Neither should it be looked upon as an issue of salvation. Rather, dressing modestly should be about wanting to be a living sacrifice, pleasing God through our obedience and acceptance of His hierarchical order. 

"But how,” one might ask, "does our dress have to do with obedience or being pleasing to God?" This is a valid and reasonable question which is addressed in both the Old and New Testaments. For example, Proverbs 11:22 says, "Like a gold ring in a pig's snout is a beautiful woman who shows no discretion" (ESV). In other words, you can have all the outer beauty and flaunt it if you want, but like that gold ring in the pig's nose, we diminish our value by doing so; we become common, not precious – an object to be used and cast aside like garbage. Further highlighting how we diminish ourselves through immodest dress and behavior is  Jeremiah 4:30, in which God tells us we are not just common but "despised" by our lovers. And lest you doubt that, take just a moment to surf through modern music in most genres or look at how women are portrayed in visual media; what you will find is objectification, not respect. We are called all kinds of disrespectful things, talked about as being a means to satisfy men's lustful urges, and then disposable when all that was wanted has been taken. Women in all manner of states of undress are used to hawk products. And do you think those actresses are respected for their acting skills? Do not be deceived, these women are being used as objects to get men to buy junk they don't need because these ads stir up lust. Meanwhile, the women in the ads is no longer seen as a person with feelings but as an object devoid of value. I am not saying that women who dress immodestly deserve to be treated badly, I am merely saying that in reality this is how it plays out.   

Conversely, Proverbs 31 provides us with a picture of a woman who has value and is "far more precious than jewels" (ESV) And why is she precious? Is it because she is hidden away or not allowed to work? Is she devoid of rights? Is she a doormat controlled and mistreated by her husband?  

Far from it, if you look at the text of the passage, she has a great deal of power within the household to buy and sell land, earns an income to help the family, and she is highly praised above other women as an asset to the household. She is valued for her inner self, just as 1 Peter 3:3-4  tells us, "Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes. Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight"  (ESV). The Word is clear: beauty defined by the world's standards and values is worthless, but humility and shunning the world's standards to serve God, is pleasing to Him.  Dressing modestly is an act of self-sacrifice because often one who does so will be rejected and outcast by the world. But obedience in this small matter brings us nearer to the heart of God. In so doing, we recognize and bend the knee to His hierarchy and headship as laid out in 1 Corinthians 11.

This chapter lays out that God is the head overall. Man is subject to God, with husbands and fathers being the head of the women in their household. Note this not any man but rather this authority is given under the headship of God. 

So, the better answer to this young man's question regarding the significance of the covering that I wear is that it is an outward sign of my acceptance of God's headship in my life and His hierarchal order for the family found 1 Corinthians 11. Not in a legalistic sense, not to say I am more righteous than thou art, neither is it  an attempt to earn favor. Following “rules” because they are rules is devoid of joy. Whereas doing so in service to the Lord can deepen our connection to God. Today I would challenge you try dressing modestly and wearing a covering for prayer at least once per week.  As the Word (Bible) says in Psalm 34:8 we should taste and see the goodness of God.  Taste the closeness and peace that are gained in choosing God’s plan for humanity.