In the Aftermath

By: Wendy Duckworth Vance

I have spent a lot of time thinking about what I would like to say about the Supreme Court decision regarding abortion. Those that know me well, know that I am unabashedly pro-life. I think every life is precious, from the newly created one to our oldest elder. Yes, that includes all people whether you look like me, believe like me or share my opinions. I have all kinds of friends and I treasure all of you.

I have not always been pro-life. When I was pro-choice I was totally sold out to the idea that it was all about control over my body, my choice. I would have told you any day that it was all about what was right for me because I should not have to sacrifice myself for any reason. I made such statements about controlling my body and not wanting to put my body through childbirth for any reason so much so that I even hurt my own husband. I made him feel unloved and disrespected because I was all about how having a child would impact me, never considering what it meant to him. It was a blow to our marriage and I could not see that I was creating a crack. And even when it all fell apart, I could only see his role in the demise of our marriage. It wasn’t until years later when I could see how my self-focus also had a role in the breakdown of our marriage.

All of us have a tendency to only see issues from our side of the fence. We cannot see the pain on the faces of the other side, nor can we see our role in it. We cannot take responsibility for issues either created or highlighted by our position.

All this to say, I know that some of you are upset, perhaps or concerned about the future, and I respect your feelings. I also know that there is a divide on how we view this issue and what the issue represents. I cannot claim to speak for the whole pro-life movement, as there are many viewpoints within the movement, so what I am about to say is from me only.

For me, this is 100 percent about the unborn babies, their right to life, and their rights to be provided with the basics of life after birth regardless of how that little one got here. As I said earlier, I used to be pro-choice, I used to believe that a baby was just a part of me, or even a parasite. Over time, study, and the mentorship of a Christian woman who poured knowledge and love into me, my opinion changed. I now believe that the unborn baby is a completely separate and distinct human being created in the image of God. As such, each of these humans are precious. I support the unborn because they are voiceless, they are innocent, and they are not responsible for the choices of others. As believers it is our commission, our responsibility, to speak for those that cannot speak up for themselves, to take care of those in need. We are the representatives of Christ on Earth. But what does that look like, and how does it apply to this Supreme Court decision?

Let us take joy in this ruling and the blessing that more babies that would have died will now have a chance at life. But let us also have compassion on those that are upset they have concerns right now that regardless of whether their concerns are based on real possibilities or fears placed in their hearts by Satan is not what is important. It is important is that we wrap the hurting in the love of Yeshua (Jesus).

We also must recognize that there are challenges inside of this decision and systems that must change. If we are going to say to women that they are to give birth, then we must provide support - physical, emotional, and financial. However a woman has found herself pregnant, it is not for us to judge her, we need to support her. Take diapers or formula to a woman in need or to charities that support women and children. Offer to babysit for your neighbor, friend, co-worker, or churchmate that you see who needs a break. Be kind, be a shoulder to cry on, offer helpful tips, offer her a ride. And beyond these individual acts of love and compassion, yes, the government, the taxpayers are going to have to step up to improve or create time-limited, sustainable, support systems that help single mothers and the working poor to get to a place of self-sufficiency and financial stability in the face of an unexpected pregnancy. There will have to be subsidies for childcare, universal paid maternity leave, increased food subsidies, more supports for children with disabilities, more financial support so that women and the working poor do not have to work multiple jobs just to have basic necessities. You may ask why we need all these things. I would say the reasons are many, but the most paramount is that as followers of Christ we are obligated to show Christlikeness to the world around us.

There are, however, also earthly reasons that these supports are needed. For example, the cost of daycare makes work not worth it as it often costs almost as much as a woman makes per hour. Often the answer is to “get a better job.” However, it is not so simple to just “get a better job.” Women need training and educational support to get better jobs on top of subsidies for daycare. Not to mention that many women are forced to exist in the duality of the societal expectation of being a perfect mother with well-behaved children all the while being the perfect employee. If both these expectations are not met, if her children get into trouble or if she requests or gets assistance from the government, a woman often finds herself the target of judgement. These stigmas and expectations must also be put aside.

Another change that will be needed is reform of our foster care and adoption systems. Do you know how many folks would probably adopt if they were not barred by having a disability or being single or unable to pay the exorbitant costs? If we want children in loving forever - homes then we have to create a system that promotes this outcome rather than setting stumbling blocks on the path from birth family to adoptive family.

These programs needed reform and these supports needed to be in place regardless of this ruling. We need to come together to find common sense, sustainable, fiscally responsible solutions to meet the needs of single women, the working poor and their children. We need to support each other, love each other, and wrap our arms around those who are in need, and lift them up.

For those that are believers, what did Yeshua do for those that were in need? He loved them, He healed them, He fed them, sinners and saints alike. Now let us, His children, be Christ-like - love, feed, heal, give of ourselves to others, as Christ gave all for us.

Yeshua unified himself with the poor when He said: “For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me.’ “Then the righteous will answer him, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you something to drink? When did we see you a stranger and invite you in, or needing clothes and clothe you? When did we see you sick or in prison and go to visit you?’ The King will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me” (Matthew 25:35-40, NIV).

Please do not misunderstand me, I am not saying that we condone all behavior and say all things are acceptable. We absolutely must teach our children about the consequences of sex outside of marriage. And I do not just mean the possibility of pregnancy, but also diseases and developing relationships that are based on unstable foundations. However, we must acknowledge that sometimes things happen that, whether voluntary or involuntary, results in pregnancy. When that happens, we need to provide support and compassion rather than judgment. We, as believers, cannot hope to reach people by beating them over the head with our beliefs. We need to show love not just in word but in action.